DAMAGES

 

Real-life story. 

There was a young woman who was a single mom.

She narrated her story about how the man who she was dating suddenly traveled outside the country without pre-informing her, and she was pregnant for him.

I don’t have all the details of that circumstance.

But thereafter, she had become so disillusioned and bitter against the man that she was literally blinded to any and every other opportunity or possibility of having another relationship.

She spoke about him with great resentment.

It was red-hot bitterness and deep-seated anger.

If you ever spoke about forgiveness, she would lash out at you angrily, violently and get deeply moody. 

If she heard any preaching on love or forgiveness, perhaps on TV, radio or the phone, she would just immediately leave the room or space in wild anger.

It was bad. Very serious—dark and dangerous.

She could have had greater opportunities but she blindly and foolishly shut them all out. 

The man who left her was obviously not financially stable and ready for marriage. 

That’s the danger of undefined relationships.

Dating without direction.

It seemed that he was a young hustler who had managed to secure a makeshift opportunity to leave the country and probably didn’t tell anyone to avoid any form of sabotage, exposure or something of that nature—as people are prone to do in 9ja.

He didn’t call for a relatively long time. 

Apparently, he had a hard time crossing overseas and settling down. But he called after a while (after she had put to bed), explained and apologized.

She didn’t listen. She accused him of leaving her to suffer to put to bed without financial assistance.

Even when he visited 9ja, she didn’t want to see him and she didn’t let him see their child.

I don’t know if she accepted any money he wanted to give to her and their son.

She felt devastated and vowed never to forgive him.

If she had forgiven and moved on, she would have had better and richer young men who would have dated and married her.

There was this rich young gentleman who was a divorcée that took interest in her, was helping her immensely financially and would have married her and accepted her son but the anger, bitterness and toxicity she always displayed pushed him away.

Rather than heal and move on with a healthy relationship, this young lady started clubbing with crazy friends, started drinking and smoking, and started sleeping with men and getting paid for se’x.

She wanted to be an independent woman making her own money. Yet she was dependent on male customers who had se’x with her and paid her.

She literally became a prostitute—a runs girl.

She went completely wicked and wild.

She hated men, cursed men, said she won’t settle with any man or give any man a chance again.

Yet she was sleeping with the same men she hated.

Different men. Many men. 

To get money to take care of herself and her son.

Life lesson: The girls who hate men the most are usually the ones who sleep with the most men (just for money). Most of them are actually lezzzbians.

…

I had similar experience of spousal abandonment and child-access denial but I also had a beautiful spiritual experience where I heard the Lord say to me one day as I walked into my bedroom: 

“Kneel down, pray, forgive them now—all of them—her, her father, her mother, everyone. Love, forgive, and pray for them to be blessed. Now!”

I immediately did that and felt an overwhelmingly powerful spiritual force and freedom and joy and deep beauty and tranquility that I can’t explain.

Boom! Peace and freedom as I let them go!

Thereafter, I have done good to and helped women without strings attached. No resentment towards them, although many have hurt me still more.

Surrendering our will to God’s will, letting go of the flesh, and learning to walk in the Spirit is the real point of the Christian walk—and is highly reserved for those who are truly saved and who follow Christ.

Any man who hates women has not healed and is still nursing anger and resentment towards women.

Any woman who is always finding fault with a man and correcting a man is usually a single mom who hasn’t fully healed from all the pain, trauma and abuse she experienced with her baby daddy. 

She may be unconsciously finding fault.

She still hurts deeply and she will transfer all that aggression on another man. 

She can hardly see anything good in him. 

She can hardly compliment him or receive same. 

She can’t genuinely help him grow. 

She can’t truly appreciate his help.

When she looks at him, she sees her baby daddy who did her dirty, did her wrong, and maybe who abandoned her to suffer and raise the child alone. 

She is a bitter woman albeit covered with smiles. 

Avoid entering a relationship with her till she heals.

Let her heal. You’re not her therapist. 

She will blame you for not ignoring her.

She will hurt you for helping her.

She will hate you for loving her.

She will bleed on your white.

That’s why young ladies should not enter intimate relationships carelessly without clear direction and firm commitment. It can completely damage them.

Stay safe.