FRIENDS: TO BE OR NOT TO BE

Beware of secret relationships. Friends who are your friends only in the dark, behind closed doors. Friends who won't put a word for you in your absence. Friends who won't stand by you. Friends who won't lift a finger to acknowledge you in the open. Friends, at least so-called, who are afraid or ashamed to be associated with you in public.

Do you also count these among your number of friends? Are they really your friends or you only presume that they are your friends? Something as important and powerful as our associations and friendships should not be left in the realm of uncertainty. We have to be more intentional about it.

Friendship is never mandatory. It is always voluntary and mutual. But it has its requirements and responsibilities as well as its rights and rewards, if we wish to engage it, precondition and privilege inclusive. So, what are the broad guidelines or rules of engagement?

1. Be wise. Raise the standard on friendship. People should not waltz in and out of your life, as unidentified flying objects, in during the good times but out in the tough-and-rough seasons of your life.

2. Be clear. Categorize your associations: outright strangers, loose acquaintances, remote contacts, business associates, family members, Christian brothers and sisters, covenant relationships and close companions.

3. Be bold. Count the cost. Disconnect unproductive channels. Maintain wholesome connections. Commit to your true friends and family and to your inner circle. Reap the wonderful benefits, non-apologetically.

Do note that public rebuke or ridicule, as embarrassing, unkind, mischievous or spiteful as it may be, is more effective and valuable than insincere love that is carefully concealed or contaminated by fear, guilt, shame or deceit.