GIVING ADVICE



Do you offer your advice to genuinely help the people who you advise?

Here’s a rule of thumb when giving advice:

When you advise people, do you best to explain or give cogent reasons for your counsel and opinion, especially if it’s not a clear scriptural instruction.

Don’t indirectly insult the intelligence of everyone listening to you. 

Don’t abuse your place of authority or privileged position in their lives.

Don’t try to control and manipulate them for no good reason or real benefit to them.

Explain to them how it best serves their interest.

For example, don’t say: “All you 40+ men, why are you going for 20+ ladies? Who are you leaving the 30+ and 40+ for? Go for those: let there balance.”

Is that what marriage is about? 

Who are they leaving the older ones for?

You call that seeking balance?

Okay then, let’s seek economic balance, sir.

Yes, let’s advise your rich kids to kindly marry poor spouses so we can achieve balance in money matters and in the economic situation of our community and society.

Who are they leaving the poorer ones for?

In economic or money matters, an inverse pairing should achieve balance as poor and poor is poorer still but rich and poor will balance out, right? 

So back to marriage, it’s rather subjective here.

Generally yes, it may be easier to understand, communicate and cooperate with someone in the same age bracket as you (whatever that is, say within a 10-year age difference or age gap).

However, it should be noted that some 40+ men may fare better with 20+ ladies than 30+ and 40+, based on the composition of their personalities and differences in mentalities, orientations or behaviors.

So a blanket statement of instructions without due regard to certain aspects and nuances of reality may prove not to be in the best interests of the ones being so nebulously and hastily advised.

Your kind thoughts or reactions are welcome.

À bientôt!

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