I DO: THE TRUTH ABOUT MARRIAGE

 

When you decide to marry a person, what you’re saying to them in effect is this: “I will love you and be with you whether I feel like it or not, whether you hurt me or please me, whether you have money or you don’t, whether you fail in life or succeed. It's not your condition, position or possession I'm marrying, but it’s you – the real you that I have come to know, love, value, esteem, treasure, cherish, honor and appreciate. I give you my lifelong loyalty. You can always count on me.” 

Vice versa.

People must understand the exclusive oath they're taking when they say "I do" before they say it. 

People must be taught to understand what they are actually “doing”. Whoever joins people shabbily or hastily does them injustice, dishonors the revered office of priest, notary or other officiant and desecrates the holy institution of marriage. 

Whoever tricks or deceives another into marrying him or her, violates that one and themselves. It shows a severe lack of understanding. People must be given adequate knowledge and guided into this hallowed path, then allowed to make their own decision.

Marriage is a beautiful and awesome promise of unending love and commitment to one. 

It is really not a religious concept or doctrine of Christian faith although it is a sacred bond. It is basically a human need, a material necessity. 

The Bible did not say non-Christians should not marry. It warns against “unequal yoke”, or uneven bonding, between a Christ follower and one who is not: in other words, divergent belief systems and conflicting core values are a recipe for disaster in a close or covenant relationship. 

Most of what is called "church, white or Christian wedding" has its own roots in cultural practices and social models that were re-branded by religion, modified by social processes and transmitted through the globalization and acculturation phenomena, and there is nothing wrong with this, as long as that is what the marrying adults consent to. 

The “church, white or Christian wedding” practice became prevalent in certain parts of the world and social settings when it became necessary to make a distinction between pagan practices of non-Christian ancestry and new-found Christian beliefs. 

This should, however, not be legislated as it is not a doctrine of Christian faith as to where and how to conduct a wedding ceremony. 

Biblical guidelines, Scriptural instructions and Christian ethics clearly and solely point to adherence to timeless moral principles and marital values such as love, respect, honor, service, care, consideration, faithfulness, fidelity, humility, responsibility, etc. 

This is the proper focus, according to God's standpoint revealed in the Scriptures. This is the true Christian foundation and model upon which Christian marriages must be built and patterned.

Marriage is a solemn promise; a mutual and voluntary vow between two people to be bound to each other as companions for life. 

It is a vow made before God as well as human witnesses and this is important so that no one betrays, abandons, abuses or violates his or her partner in the midst of life's battles, whether emotionally or physically. 

That's why baseline maturity, including psychological integrity and emotional stability, should precede marriage. 

It is also the highest and closest form of human relationship, according to the Bible, leaving one's parents and cleaving to one's spouse as "one flesh". 

The spiritual simulation is the union between Christ and the Church. It is pure in its objective, essence and rudimentary form, without the man-made appendages which are mostly self-centered. 

It has little to do with all the external factors that seek to complicate and downgrade this elevated institution in society as we see it today. For, truth be told, this great and God-designed union has largely been corrupted by many human impediments or artificial constraints, including socioeconomic and sociocultural systemic constraints, because it is grossly misconstrued.

In conclusion, if we go back to God's true and original design, we will find out that many societal stereotypes are really sub-optimal and self-serving. 

Marriage is a covenant not a ceremony, even though this covenant is usually marked or celebrated with a ceremony of any sort, according to custom. 

Christian faith should be the moral compass in the practice of the nuptial union between Christians and all sociocultural practices should be filtered through sound Christian values and relational principles such as friendship, commitment, sacrifice, benevolence, loyalty, sincerity, authenticity, empathy, reciprocity, mutuality, exclusivity, etc. 

Therefore, “limiting liabilities” and “ephemeral encumbrances” should be reduced to a minimum to facilitate “meaningful matrimony” between responsible and ready adults, who should be allowed yet guided to make their honest choice and informed decision within basic spiritual and social frameworks. 

To reiterate, the focus should be on universal principles, ethical parameters, core values and belief systems. 

Marriage will never be a perfect union because the parties involved are imperfect humans, always in need of love, mercy, care, support, service, affirmation or forgiveness, thus must always be ready to apologize and to forgive. 

Truly, people must understand the nature, value, significance and seriousness of the marital covenant they are making, and with whom they are making it, before "they do".

#marriage