RECORDS STRAIGHT

THIS IS MY STORY 

This is about setting the records straight.

This is not intended as a defense for myself.

It is not written as a disgruntlement with or disrepute to anyone.

It is a one-off, never-before-publicized, tell-it-as-it-is albeit high-level summary of a true-life story, from the horse’s mouth as the idiom goes.

I have not been big on sharing private stories of myself or anyone in the public space (although this is limited to an audience of people who have been duly or unduly designated as “friends” on my social media account.

This is written in good conscience before God and man.

As you should know by now, I’m all for truth, however I respect privacy.

And I perceive that this is the set time to speak.

Let the facts be put out as a witness…

*******

I got married on Saturday the 22nd of November, 2008. 

That’s over 13 years ago. I was 28 years then. I am 41 years now (as at February 2022). 

My wife (or, ex wife) abandoned me for “greener pastures” in a developed country overseas when she thought things were relatively tough, although we were not doing too badly then.

She eloped with our only child and daughter, without my knowledge or consent, on Wednesday the 13th of February 2013.

After she left, things seemed to get better in terms of finances, as it was the period that I landed a new job (infact, a couple of far better job offers that I had to choose from).

Unknown to me, she and her father had planned even before the marriage that she would go out of the country to further her education.

She was also always unhappy that she had not gotten married to a very wealthy albeit elderly man who had asked for her hand in marriage, as I later learnt, and who was turned down by her father for reasons best known to him, some obvious reasons being that he was not educated and he was already married thus she was likely going to be an additional wife (I’m not sure if it would be second or third wife). Plus, as an older man, he would not be easily controlled by her father. These circumstances led to her father making the choice for her of a marriage partner.

Our short marriage, which lasted for a little over four years before she disappeared, was not without the challenges of every typical marriage but I had decided not to quit as I believed that every young marriage goes through its season of early formation struggles before it emerges strong.

We had the disadvantage of little to zero proper courtship to get to know each other better, no thanks to our faulty religious inclinations and affiliations back then.

If my suggestion was regarded, I would only have opted for a short-term separation while we undergo proper counseling and courting to build a proper foundation for a lasting union.

I honor the sacred institution of marriage in every sense.

Like God, I hate divorce. 

But again, divorce is better than death…

Many people have killed their own spouses both secretly (like through poisoning, hired killers, etc) and visibly (in open fights and violence).

(Indeed, the heart of the unregenerate man is grossly evil and desperately wicked. Selah…)

Frankly, I must admit that I did see and sense foul play and something sinister in the marriage. 

That’s why I opted for a tenured separation to fix things in a safe manner with less casualties.

Not unlike many so-called “marriages”, it was really not a marriage in the real sense of the beautiful, lifelong union of love and loyalty.

After she left, I tried to restore communication and reconciliation severally but have been met with a brick wall, each and every time.

Worse still, there were perceived indications of manipulation and malevolence from her father and her family that had affected me adversely.

*******

To say the least, my then new job and lucrative career in petroleum engineering was affected.

My ‘church life’ was truncated with spite, ridicule, misrepresentation and isolation.

Even my home town was not left out in the barrage of false accusations and attacks on my person.

What about the supposed spies and saboteurs…

A lot has indeed happened…

*******

As I said, this is not intended to whip up public sympathy. I don’t need sympathy. 

If there’s any need, it is the need for justice. 

However, I look to God alone for that.

He is the all-knowing and perfectly just Judge.

As a seasoned and well-connected lawyer, her father has tried on different occasions to thwart the course of justice at the time I sought it in the judicial system of men in my country (the court of law).

Right now, the case is in the hands of the Most High.

Selah…

*******

Now, have I made my mistakes? Yes, many.

Did I fail at some things? Most definitely.

Have I apologized for my wrongs? Yes I have.

Have I trusted the wrong people? Yes I did.

Have I been betrayed by those close to me? Who hasn’t, even the perfect Christ was betrayed by one of His close circle of disciples cum apostles.

Did I try the best I knew to be a good husband and father? I definitely did and looked forward to learning and becoming better by the day.

Has my goodwill or generosity been spitefully misjudged as ill-intended or ill-sourced even in religious circles and supposed or would-be friends or loved ones? Surely, surely.

Have I been slandered and held in disrepute as one who obtained money through illegal means? Lord knows, I have but I’m not moved by the lies of envy and spite of vengeful and bitter humans.

Have I forgiven them? With God’s help, I have.

Have I tried as much as it lies with me to walk in peace with all men? As the Lord lives, I have.

Am I holding any grudges or ill feelings? I have sometimes been angry and spoken ill but again by God’s help, I have purged myself of every bitterness and ill will towards my offenders.

Have I sinned? Most definitely, I indeed have.

Have I indulged in foolish excesses? Yes I have.

Have I suffered for my folly? Oh surely, I have.

But have I learnt and grown to be stronger and wiser? Absolutely, yes.

Most importantly, I have humbly received God’s forgiveness and mercy, not as a merit but as a gift for which I am and will be eternally grateful.

And as a wretched sinner, I trust in Jesus Christ as my only hope of salvation and eternal life.

I look forward to being perfected and visibly transformed into the true image of God’s love.

Now, this is my real story. The mercy and grace of God in the face of Jesus Christ my Savior.

*******

Now, going forward, do I wish to be married (or, remarried)? Yes, yet may God’s will be done.

Has God been merciful, faithful and good to me? A million, zillion times yes, and much more. 

Praise be to Him forever and ever. 

May my life ultimately bring Him glory is my prayer.

*******

I have written this to clear my conscience and clear the air or set the records straight in my limited responsibility as a mortal in the social ecosystem of humanity; for those to whom it may concern or who will be concerned. 

It is an opportunity for me to be vulnerable and share my joy and pain, my wins and losses, my hope and hell with those who care to know.

Christ hung naked in public shame and ridicule.

He suffered wrongly and we esteemed Him stricken, smitten by God and afflicted.

(My life, good and bad, has also been a prophetic statement and symbolism from the Greater One). Selah…

He did it as a perfect personality.

But we as imperfect humanity.

It is better to suffer for doing good than to suffer for our folly and errors.

Many Christians do not understand this.

If I am wrong, I will admit and apologize.

If I am wronged, I will forgive and rejoice.

Vengeance is of the Lord. He will repay all men.

He will reward everyone according to their works. 

Better to ask for mercy than to claim right.

Better still to give mercy and move on…

“Blessed are the merciful for they shall obtain mercy.”

This is my real story. 

Mercy. 

That’s the translation of my first name.

“Ebelenna”: The Mercy of the Father.

Then my other name which I currently go by.

Dozie. In full, “Chidozie or Chukwudozie”.

Meaning: God restores, repairs, decorates, designs, prepares, arranges, sets right and makes good.

Selah…

******

Again, this is not a “request” per se for anything.

This is not to damage my or anyone’s supposed reputation before men, whatever that is.

Our true reputation is determined before God.

He knows the hearts and motives of all men.

*******

Finally, to whom it may concern, if I pass on now, I “wish” for whatever money I leave to be given to my (ex) wife and my daughter. I did not divorce her. She abandoned me and the marriage. I have forgiven her. I have no quarrel or fight with her. I am now free from her but for my daughter’s sake (whom she has refused for me to see all these many long years), I wish to provide for my beloved daughter, who I have heartily blessed and wholly committed to God’s Able Hands. 

If it is rejected by her (ex wife), then it should be given to my mother and three sisters. (I lost my only brother last year).

And if they don’t want it, it should be given to the poor and needy, maybe a trusted and noble charity organization for the less privileged, orphans, widows, and disadvantaged people in society.

Let this be part of the chronicles of my life.

To God, my Strength and Salvation, my Hope and Joy, be all the praise and glory forever!

Amen.

—  Mr. Ebelenna Chidozie Osonkie

Originally shared with "friends on social media" on Monday, the 7th of February 2022