THE PLIGHT OF PERFECTIONISM

Scientifically, perfectionism has been classified as a type of mental disorder such as depression, anxiety, eating disorders and other addictive behaviors.

Perfectionism is actually an addiction and can lead to other mental illnesses or behavioral disorders such as depression, aggression and even suicide at the very worst case.

Spiritually, perfection addiction may be attributable to some unhealthy influence or imprint in the heart and mind of a person that alters their sense of inner wholeness and attempts to make up for it with any form of external attachments or achievements. It is typically symptomatic of a deeper deficit such as destructive pride, sense of superiority or inferiority such as poor self-esteem or low sense of self-worth.

These underlying factors usually originate from a heightened perception of the lack of parental love in childhood, some form of abuse (in its various possible shades) or deprivation in early years.

Then they can culminate in the enslaving need to impress or people-please at all costs, which is another type of behavioral disorder termed approval addiction.

These disorders, mostly undiagnosed in many people, are certainly not the fault of the people who exhibit them. They were acquired and can be treated or managed. Frankly, we all may have struggled (or may be struggling) through some variant of these 'disorders'.

However, these symptoms are almost considered normal but are some of the key root causes of interpersonal or relationship problems.

Perfectionists find it hard to admit that they are wrong or do not know to do everything well.

In some cases, a skewed religious indoctrination further reinforces this mindset with a false sense of superiority and infallibility.

Their drive to do things scrupulously is rooted in the need to validate themselves as "very good", "special" or even superior in some sense.

This drive is unhealthy because it does not flow from the simple, honest and earnest need to be diligent, hardworking, productive, fruitful and a blessing to others. It stems from the need to impress or feed one's egotistical self-image.

They suffer emotionally when they "fail to deliver" on their perfection.

As good as this may seem (and it does help them achieve great goals in amazing ways), the root cause and motive is not in meeting the needs of others but in meeting their emotional deficit and their need for external validation.

Sadly, it may be at the cost of other priceless things such as ethical values, family life, good health, true spirituality, great relationships, etc.

Now, we must give this credit to them: they are super driven and thus super achievers.

But, in the final analysis, the foundation of self-pride (sometimes even cloaked in a false show or claim of humility until tested by adversity) erodes the net value of all this 'greatness'.

You will agree with me that this pride presents serious spiritual implications as well as great opportunities for spiritual intervention and development on a personal level.

Noteworthy it is to state that the prideful are not truly peaceful and the truly peaceful are not prideful persons but simple beings at their core.

Simple, selfless beings who can admit failure, ignorance or incapacitation of some sort and can genuinely ask for help and equally render help graciously with understanding. They can learn. They know they definitely do not have all the answers.

As a benefit, apparent setbacks do not destroy them or plunge them into clinical depression, chronic stress or other major self-harm disorders but will teach them to be humble, patient and even more diligent.

Excellence, on the other hand, is the ouflow of true diligence, conscientiousness, sincere and heartfelt conviction and focus on a work process not just on the imagery of a celebrated outcome.

Except to keenly discerning eyes or upon close examination, both perfectionism and excellence may appear to be the same on the surface and may achieve similar external results.

But at the core, to put it succinctly: perfectionism is a product of pride whilst excellence is an expression of earnestness.